The Zombie Apocalypse, Part 1: Know Your Enemy

From my personal experiences, I have discovered that many people sadly are not prepared for the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse. What also disturbs me is that most people aren’t even aware of the differences between zombies and the “undead.” In the first installment of this series, I want to make you, my reader, aware of these differences and to inform you on the best way to dispatch these forthcoming evil.

First, what is a zombie? Webster’s dictionary defines a zombie as “a corpse supernaturally imbued with the semblance of life.” As far as I am concerned that is fairly accurate. In addition, I feel that a zombie is basically what you see in the original Zombie genre movies. The pre-existing dead coming back to life, that is, people dead and buried or in a crypt rising from the netherworld to basically give the living one fucked up weekend. Now if you get bitten by one of these zombies you too will become something different, you will become the “undead.”

Technically, the undead are zombies. Confused? Allow me to explain. You already know what a zombie is (see above). The undead are persons who were alive, died for a short time and have become re-animated. How they differ? Zombies are slow, shambling, heartless shells of creatures with one thing on their mind (pun intended). Their mission is to eat you, preferably with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. The undead, although their mission is pretty much the same, they are fast, can run and have more strength then a zombie. Why you ask? Well, I’m glad you asked. Muscles. When your dead for a long time, your muscles atrophy. They break down, shrivel up and eventually become useless. Newly infected “undead” still have muscles that are intact, therefore they can pretty much run as fast if not faster than you, in case you’re a fatty like myself. Yet, another reason why I am losing some unnecessary weight. Also, the undead don’t even have to be dead. They can be infected. This folks is the most realistic possibility that there will eventually be some sort of outbreak resulting in the end of mankind and the rise of zombie kind. Governments all over the world experiment in different biological and chemical weapons and all it takes is one infected specimen to get out and that’s it, we’re done.

Another thing to know about your enemy is their strengths and weaknesses. For the sake of argument and future posts, I will refer to zombies and the “undead,” simply as zombie. A zombie’s main strength is that they never stop coming after you. They never tire, they never get hungry (except for you), they never take breaks, they just keep coming. You on the other hand, will tire, run out of food and will get caught off guard. And this could ultimately lead to your joining the ranks of the undead. Now, a zombie’s biggest weakness is they are dead. The longer they are dead, the better. They will slow, but never stop. They will rot, only their brain will remain alive. In outdoor conditions a body could rot for 3 to 5 years, depending on climate and weather. Hope you have a good safe haven. I will go into this in future posts.

Obviously the best way to take out a zombie is kill the brain. A headshot is a must. Kill the brain, kill the zombie. Body shots or limb shots will slow it down, but it will not stop the zombie. Know your enemy. It is that simple.

Your quote: “They’re coming to get you, Barbara, there’s one of them now!”zombie

My worst nightmare.


About Frank Messina

Just an average guy, stuck in a crappy job. A Dad, a Father, a Mailman. I like cars, food and laughing like a fat guy.
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